Friendship. Yep. Friendship.

What are Good Friends anyway?

I have been pondering this "dilemna" recently. So many people when introducing or talking about someone will say, "This is my good friend. . . ", "This is my close friend. . . ", "This is my best friend. . . " But what does it all mean anyway? What defines the boundary of a freind vs. a good friend. How do you know when someone is your best friend vs. just good friends? Where does it all start and end? (don't think about it, it'll make your head hurt) 

Many people will say - A friend is someone you know and care about. A good friend is someone you know and care about who knows and cares about you. A close friend is someone who loves you, and is there for you always (and vice versa), and a best friend (this is apparently the best it gets, once you're dubbed this you're in a huge place of honor, I guess) is someone who is all of the above + they know all your deep dark secrets. 

I can say I've gazillions of friends and plenty of good friends. And my parents constantly tease me because when I talk about my friends I always say, "oh my really good friend insert name here . . . " or what not. (by the way - really good friends = close friends) So, I guess I have lots of them too. And as for best friends, I've been told you can only have one best friend. And through the course of my life I've had 3 people that I would dare to call "best friends" still. Although technically I've had plenty. Although the term "best friend" has always been banned in my house. I never understood why until now. This world has messed friendship up big time. Ask anyone what a true friend is and 8 times out of ten you'll get some wacky absurd answer.

Here's the problem. People today think friendship is based on how many secrets you know, how much they can make you smile, how much you'd sacrifice for them. So on and so forth. But really, while that's all good and nice, it isn't the manditory standards and boundaries of friendship. 

So what then is a good friend? Well let's see what God defines friendship as.

Luke 6:31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
2 Kings 2:2 And Elijah said to Elisha, “Please stay here, for the LORD has sent me as far as Bethel.” But Elisha said, “As the LORD lives, and as you yourself live, I will not leave you.” So they went down to Bethel.
Ruth 1:16-17 But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.”

I see some themes here, Love, Loyalty, Encouragement, and Spiritual growth. 

These are some values God has for friendship. And God's values should always be what we value.

It's easy to get enraptured in secrets, drama, fun, and laughter in friendships. But God has given us the gift of friendship for people to lean on and help us grow. To love and stick with us through thick and thin. Of course our greatest friend is God, but when we are going through trials or are confused, He knows we get lost and don't know what to do and gives us friends to guide us. 

Thankfully, I have been blessed with many of these friends, many people who can give me guidance when I am confused or hurting. Many, many people that love me and I know will always stick with me. 

And it is my prayer that I can be this friend. I also have many friends who don't match up to all of this, but I love them dearly none the less, and at least I can be a good friend to them.

One other fallacy about friendship, just for good measure, is one Christians repeatedly make. We shouldn't have friends that aren't Christians or are not as spiritually mature as us. As it is true that being super close to a non-christian friend can stumble you and probably isn't a good idea. Always remember that God is in charge of the people we meet. If He puts a non-christian person in your life, love them as He would, cherish them and encourage them. If we ignore them, how are they to see the love of the Father? 

But cherish all your friends, they are all precious gifts from the Lord. 

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up." Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10 

So to answer the question at the top in fewer words. "A friend is one you can lean to guide you when you are lost, one whom can point you the Lord, and one who will always stand by you."